Addressing a weak period in two sentences and moving on
Mechanical engineering graduate with a weak second year
I would like to take this opportunity to explain my academic performance during my second year. Unfortunately, due to various personal and family circumstances that were beyond my control, I was unable to give my full attention to my studies during this difficult period, and my grades suffered as a result. I sincerely hope the committee will consider this when evaluating my application.
My second-year marks fell after my father's stroke in the October of that year, when I took over the family workshop alongside coursework. From third year onward my average was 8.4 of 10, and my thesis on vibration damping in machine-tool spindles was graded 9.1 and is now used as reference material in the department's lab manual.
Why the second one works
- 01
Two sentences, and the second is longer than the first. The recovery gets more space than the problem.
- 02
The cause is stated once, factually, with no adjectives and no appeal to sympathy.
- 03
The evidence is on the transcript the committee already has, so nothing here requires the reader to take it on trust.
- 04
The word unfortunately does not appear. Neither does any request for consideration.
Written in-house as an illustration. Not a real applicant’s statement, and not a template: a published paragraph is a paragraph a similarity checker has already seen.